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Be honest: What do you struggle with? Kris addresses the question we don’t like to ask ourselves, shares some of his own challenges and offers constructive ways that you can deal with your struggles to become a better leader and person. — BTB #19 One on One

(0:00:00) Intro:
Welcome to the The Kris Lindahl Show podcast. Here’s your host, Kris Lindahl.

(0:00:06) KL:
What do you struggle with? Over the years on my journey to become a better person and a better leader, I’ve definitely had my struggles along the way. I want to share with you some of the struggles that I’ve had and what I’m trying to do to overcome those, in hopes that it can relate to some of you.

One thing is that when you’re a high-driver and you’ve always got ideas, you’re a visionary and you get super excited and you want to just crush life, sometimes you need to slow down.

When you’re going so fast, sometimes you’re not as present as you could be. That’s where you really need to work on slowing down and enjoying the ride. So often I meet successful people that are always trying to chase something that they can’t catch, and they’re constantly working and constantly grinding to get to that next level, that they don’t enjoy where they are today. Because if you’re a successful business leader, you’ve had some success, you need to celebrate some of that. It’s very easy to start chasing and trying to get to that next level and really take a moment and just celebrate your success and your wins. Celebrate with the people around you. A lot of times in organizations if you’re a business leader, you’re leading other people. Celebrate with them. We just had our holiday party with our company and we celebrated and we had a blast and we have incredible people and it was just really fun to be connected to so many of them and hear their wins and hear the things that are going on their world. I can tell you right now that if I didn’t slow down and if I wasn’t present, I wouldn’t capture those moments. So, make sure when you’re in the moment, you’re actually in the moment. We have a tendency to pick up our cell phone and check social media, check text messages, check emails and anything else we can get distracted with. So, make sure you set the phone down and you really pay attention to what is happening in front of you. It’s been a big challenge for me. I’ve really tried to focus more on being present. Being present is such a difficult thing in today’s world because of technology. Technology has everyone so distracted. A friend of mine, Cesar who I had on the podcast, he said, “Our souls are thirsty.”

I thought about that. Our souls are thirsty for…. Human interaction… for those moments… for those experiences. Just make sure that you’re present today. It’ll make a huge difference.

And then also, when you’re slowing down, you enjoy the ride, you’re present, it starts to feel good. You have to make sure that as a business leader, you feel good because if you’re chasing something and you’re unfulfilled at all times, it doesn’t feel great. Then start asking people around you! You know, I think a lot o you listening may have done some sort of 360 where you ask people in your organization how they feel about you, what they think about you, what your weaknesses are, what your strengths are, what your greatnesses are. Ask people around you. Where am I good? Where am I falling short? I love getting constructive feedback because constructive feedback helps me grow and helps me become better. That’s where I look at struggles as opportunities to learn and grow.

You know, a lot of people we’ve interviewed on the podcast so far have mentioned being a student first and I think that’s such a critical part of being a great business leader is that you’re always willing to learn. That’s where I’m just obsessed with getting information from others and that constructive feedback. How can I become better? Where am I falling short as a person? As a leader? Just make sure that you honor those people that. Give you that feedback because if you don’t they are no longer going to give you that feedback. That feedback is what’s going to help you grow.

The other area for business leaders that are high-chargers or visionaries or really cruising at a very fast pace, don’t forget to show empathy. You need to be empathetic to those people in your world that are helping you and helping your organization get to the next level. By being empathetic, you need to acknowledge people. People love public acknowledgement. If someone is doing something great, and when I say “something great” that doesn’t necessarily mean they hit their goal or their quota, or they got more says. I’m talking about things in life like “Hey, I’ve watched you become a better person.”

Or, “I love how you’re making a difference for your family,” or your community or your clients or whatever that may be. Just have that view and that vision when you’re somewhere and you really need to pay attention to when you are. This is where is goes back to being present because you can learn so much about people and you can listen to what things they’re doing that are making a difference and then you can acknowledge them. When you acknowledge people, that will make a huge difference in your organization. I care so much about the people in our company and I love watching for that success and I love acknowledging them. Keep the empathy at a really high level. When you have empathy and acknowledgment, it supports the community that you’re building because most people in today’s world, they want to be part of a community. They want to be a part of something bigger that’s not just about them so that they can make a bigger impact. When you’re acknowledging people and you’re empathetic, they’re never going to leave. They don’t want to leave. They want to be a part of that. That’s what their soul wants! That’s what my soul wants! When you’re in that environment and people are doing great things, don’t forget to acknowledge them. People want to be acknowledged. It feels good. People want to be recognized. Those things make a massive difference. But remember, make sure to slow down and celebrate success.

Success is different to everyone, right? Success for you might be something very small and to someone else it might be very big. But it’s different for everyone and that’s what makes us all unique. Don’t forget that when you are struggling, make sure that you get feedback and you get people around you that are going to give you that feedback and are going to help you get up. I think about the analogy, “Raise up and raise down” and I’m thinking about the hands. If you’re in a good spot and you see someone else struggling, bring your hand down and reach up and pull them back up. Too often, when we’re in business, or in personal, or really just anywhere in life, we see someone that’s struggling and we walk right by them. We just walked right by them. We can tell that they’re hurting, we can tell they’re struggling but maybe we don’t say, “Hey! How can I support you? How can I help you? How can I lift you up?”

That reach down/reach up technique is so powerful to reach down and help someone up in your organization or in your life or in your family when they’re struggling and pull them up. Pull them up. It’s obviously easier when you’re on the outside and you’re at 30,000 feet looking in at someone else. It’s sort of like when you have a friend in a relationship you’re like, “Why are you in that relationship?” But they have deaf ears and they can’t hear it and the next thing you know, they get out of the relationship or the friendship and they’re like, “Wow! You were so right!”

A lot of times, you just have to remember that when people are in the moment, they can’t see it. That’s why I love getting constructive feedback and having that 360 review from people that are around me so that they can fill me in on my blindspots that I can’t see. So I encourage you all of you to get that constructive feedback and really honor that struggle.

The struggle is what is going to grow you. You also have to commit to getting better. For me, it’s just at the end of the day, jotting down a few things I want to make sure I made an impact. I ask myself, “Did you make an impact today, Kris?” Just asking little simple things like that. Maybe slow down. Enjoy the ride. Be present. Whatever those things are for you, review those a couple times each day.

One of the things that’s helped me with slowing down and enjoying the ride is my daughter, Victoria. I have a picture of her and I on her first day of school. I printed and laminated several sheets of her and I just standing her on her first day of school and all it says is, “V is Counting on Me.”

It reminds me why I’m doing this. It reminds me to slow down and enjoy this. It also reminds me to be a great father. So, those things are really important to me, but everyone has different things. Figure out what those are for you. Figure out where you struggle and start to embrace the struggle. It will help you become better.

(0:08:21) Outro:

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